Saturday, April 30, 2011
Another Fun Filled Saturday
We were up and running early. Both boys were playing ball hockey for Mindcare and #3 had a basketball clinic 1-4pm. All arrived home at the same time and starving. We all warmed up with Pizza and a movie. #1 son's team made it to the finals tomorrow and then we are off to volunteer at the Kids Help Phone Walk:) Time for Bed..
Friday, April 29, 2011
Really, Shall I? I'm not ready.....
I’ve been so so delinquent in posting and just a wee bit embarrassed to say here we go again. But then again, why not. Maybe this effort will provide some focus as I’ve been finding it easier said than done to commit to everything actually. From running, nutrition, blogging, drinking water, being grateful, family, work, friends, volunteering etc it all seems so much that I falter more than I would like to admit to myself. Sometimes I even feel like my efforts are not genuine in a sense that I just want to get what I can done and move on. It’s difficult to articulate exactly what I feel and I’m troubled that being rushed all the time is somehow having a negative impact on my children and me... or maybe just me...
Are our lives too chaotic? Are we really too busy? In the run of a day, does rushing our children from one regimented environment to another deprive the family of quality time that could be spent together? Sometimes these thoughts pop into my head, as I rush home from work to drive yet again, a child to hockey or basketball. I know that more is not always better and finding a quiet place to sit and enjoy each other's company is and should be equally important. So why is it so hard to fit in?
I have 2 April babies and celebrating their birthdays this month makes me realise that they are growing up, getting older, and becoming their own unique persons. No longer are any of my children in the single digits. All double digits. I think this has made me reflective somewhat in that I want to slow down, enjoy who they are more and spend some time with them not just with them. When did they become such individuals? How did this happen so quickly? All my life I have wanted to be a mom however, my vision never included my children getting older. So how do I accept my children growing up? I guess it is one of those things in life that I just have to accept and embrace each age that my children reach and not be wishing for the past or holding them in the past.
It is about acceptance, true acceptance of this precious gift of life on loan to me as a mom from God. I must let my children grow and become their own person it’s what I want in theory just hard to do. But the actual letting go is crushing to say the least. She is only 10, I still have plenty to teach her and many years with her but over the last month, I got a glimpse of the future and I guess I was not prepared for it. Who is prepared to watch their children really grow up? I know that God will give me the strength to be a good mom because no matter what their age I will always be their mom.
Can I Carry You ?
I guess that I can hold you
one more time before you grow.
And tell you that I love you
so that you will always know.
Please let me tie your shoe again.
One day you’ll tie your own.
And when you think back to this time
I hope it’s love I’ve shown.
Can I help you put your coat on?
Can I please cut up your meat?
Can I pull you in the wagon?
Can I pick you out a treat?
One day you might just care for me,
so let me care for you.
I want to be a part
of every little thing you do.
Tonight could I please wash your hair?
Can I put toys in the bath?
Can I help you count your small ten toes
before I teach you math?
Before you join a baseball team
can I pitch you one more ball?
And one more time can I stand near
to make sure you don’t fall?
Let’s take another space-ship ride
Up to the Planet Zoor.
Before our Cardboard Rocket
doesn’t fit us anymore.
Please let me help you up the hill.
while you’re still too small to climb.
And let me read you stories
while you’re young and have the time.
I know the day will come
when you will do these things alone.
Will you recall the shoulder rides
and all the balls we’ve thrown?
I want you to grow stronger
than your Dad could ever be.
And when you find success
there will be no soul more proud than me.
So will you let me carry you?
One day you’ll walk alone.
I cannot bear to miss one day
from now until you’ve grown.
Are our lives too chaotic? Are we really too busy? In the run of a day, does rushing our children from one regimented environment to another deprive the family of quality time that could be spent together? Sometimes these thoughts pop into my head, as I rush home from work to drive yet again, a child to hockey or basketball. I know that more is not always better and finding a quiet place to sit and enjoy each other's company is and should be equally important. So why is it so hard to fit in?
I have 2 April babies and celebrating their birthdays this month makes me realise that they are growing up, getting older, and becoming their own unique persons. No longer are any of my children in the single digits. All double digits. I think this has made me reflective somewhat in that I want to slow down, enjoy who they are more and spend some time with them not just with them. When did they become such individuals? How did this happen so quickly? All my life I have wanted to be a mom however, my vision never included my children getting older. So how do I accept my children growing up? I guess it is one of those things in life that I just have to accept and embrace each age that my children reach and not be wishing for the past or holding them in the past.
It is about acceptance, true acceptance of this precious gift of life on loan to me as a mom from God. I must let my children grow and become their own person it’s what I want in theory just hard to do. But the actual letting go is crushing to say the least. She is only 10, I still have plenty to teach her and many years with her but over the last month, I got a glimpse of the future and I guess I was not prepared for it. Who is prepared to watch their children really grow up? I know that God will give me the strength to be a good mom because no matter what their age I will always be their mom.
Can I Carry You ?
I guess that I can hold you
one more time before you grow.
And tell you that I love you
so that you will always know.
Please let me tie your shoe again.
One day you’ll tie your own.
And when you think back to this time
I hope it’s love I’ve shown.
Can I help you put your coat on?
Can I please cut up your meat?
Can I pull you in the wagon?
Can I pick you out a treat?
One day you might just care for me,
so let me care for you.
I want to be a part
of every little thing you do.
Tonight could I please wash your hair?
Can I put toys in the bath?
Can I help you count your small ten toes
before I teach you math?
Before you join a baseball team
can I pitch you one more ball?
And one more time can I stand near
to make sure you don’t fall?
Let’s take another space-ship ride
Up to the Planet Zoor.
Before our Cardboard Rocket
doesn’t fit us anymore.
Please let me help you up the hill.
while you’re still too small to climb.
And let me read you stories
while you’re young and have the time.
I know the day will come
when you will do these things alone.
Will you recall the shoulder rides
and all the balls we’ve thrown?
I want you to grow stronger
than your Dad could ever be.
And when you find success
there will be no soul more proud than me.
So will you let me carry you?
One day you’ll walk alone.
I cannot bear to miss one day
from now until you’ve grown.
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